why singapore should have casino....

Singapore's loan shark industry openly backed the proposal to build a caSINo, saying it would contribute greatly to their growth. The Association of Hardship Loan Operators and Neighbourhood Gangsters (AHLONG) spokesman Dr Chao Ah Beng told the Ministry of Finance today that the loan shark industry would benefit tremendously from the setting up of a casino.

"We know the gahmen say the casino will bring in tax revenue lah, employ people lah, bring in money that
is lost to Genting Highlands and casino cruises, lah, all that sort of thing," said Dr. Chao, "But it din'ch realise the casino will also boost our industry, which is another good reason for setting it up."

Dr Chao, who lectures in money-laundering and grievous bodily harm at Hoot U, the Geylang-based tertiary institution for bengs and lians, said the casino would enable the loan shark industry to diversify and upgrade its existing line of products. "Last time, we all lend people money to pay off their gambling debts," he explained. "Now, with the casino, we can also offer them high interest loans to afford to pay the entry fee to get into the casino in the first place."

Dr Chao also predicted a rise in their traditional service of debt recovery. "I would definitely invest in pork futures. With more gamblers, it makes sense that there will be more debtors, and a corresponding surge in demand for pigs' heads."

Dr Chao also announced that Hoot U hopes to sign a memorandum of understanding with the proposed casino. "The casino sure need bouncers to keep the riff-raff out, ah lians to attract the high rollers, heavies to hoot cheaterbugs, that sort of thing, and Hoot U is the region's premier producer for manpower in these sectors. So we hope to establish an internship on-the-job-training programme."

In other casino-related news, legendary Las Vegas casino operator Harrah's has announced that it will be changing its name to "Harry's" in order to improve its bidding prospects for the Singapore project.

disclaimer: all names, organisations and even the interview is purely fractional.... hehehehe...